It is Tuesday night and my phone rings at bloody 4 am in the morning. My colleague – semi-drunk – on the other side of the phone is surprised that I am asleep. Whatever dude, just get to the point. Crazy semi-drunk colleague was having a drink (or hundred) with three of his Chinese amigas and they thought it would be an excellent idea to wake me up and ask me whether I could hook his three friends up with any of my lao wai friends.

A lao wai is Chinese slang for foreigner. Theoretically, foreigner means foreigner, whether you are Japanese, Namibian, Thai, American or Italian. In practice though, it means Blond White Western Person.

Unable to answer this awkward question in the middle of the night, I tell my crazy semi-drunk colleague that I will think about it and get back to him later on whom of my foreign friends I would like to pimp out to his chinese friends.

 Fifteen minutes later, just when I am about to enter my If-I-Ruled-The-World dream again, crazy semi-drunk colleague rings again. He wanted to make sure that the specifications of this pimp act were clear: His friends didn’t care about what kind of guy it was, as long as he was white, tall and somewhat goodlooking, then he would be good to go. “Yes, yes, I know lar!” I answered and hung up the phone, desperate to catch some more hours of sleep before I had to get up and actually think about how to fulfill my pimp role.

As I was well beyond reality, I got pulled out of my honey-milk bath surrounded by 40 half-naked Adonis men, by my crazy fully-drunk colleague again. He wanted to make sure that I understood that his three chinese friends were all cute and hot chicks and all have been with white men before, so they would know how to behave. Yeah for sure, I bet they would know how to behave...

Maybe it’s novelty, or the sheer association of ‘whiteness’ with money, luxury, civilisation etc., but I am still having trouble understanding some Asian women’s obsession for white ass. What is it that white men have and Asian men don’t?